An interview with the Methodist Bishop that defrocked Pastor Schaefer.

Interviewer: Thank you for agreeing to this interview.

The Bishop: No trouble at all.

Okay, let’s get started then. Do you mind if I record this, to insure that I get everything correct?

Not at all. Lets see here, I was born in the 1950’s…it was a different world then, but I was lucky enough to….

That’s not where I intended to begin Bishop.

The Bishop looks a bit surprised, is thoughtful and then continues…

I was ordained in the 1970’s. It was a turbulent time, but I was fortunate enough to….

I want to talk about Pastor Schaefer, Bishop.

The Bishop begins to fiddle with the items on his desk, nervously creating perfectly even spaces between them.

Well, you never said…

Said what?


Why did he have to be defrocked?

I don’t think I used that term.

Maybe not, but I did. You know what I mean.

He broke church rules. And that ends this interview!

Did you ever break a church rule Bishop?

We’re not talking about me breaking rules here…

Actually, I am talking about you breaking rules. Perhaps it’s time to think about your rules.

That is not relevant.

Alright then. let’s talk about Frank.

I’d rather not, it’s a church matter.

I agree. I’m asking as a Christian.

He broke a rule.

Do you agree with the rule?

That’s not the point.

Golly, it sure seems like the point to me. You’re a Bishop. Don’t you make rules?

Do you know your Bible?

I think that you are going to try to convince me that I don’t….so go for it.

In Leviticus 18:22 it says that it is an abomination for a man to lie down with a man, as a man lies down with a woman.

Yes it does. How about what is says in Leviticus 11? You know, the one about it being an abomination to eat shrimp.

Yes, but this was changed later on when Peter said…

Do you really want to go down that road Bishop, where you tell me which words to protect and which to discard?

Well, a man needs to reasonable.

Do you think that it’s reasonable to use the word abomination, when it wasn’t created until the middle ages?

You are a troublemaker. Do you think that you can come in here and take me on in debate by quoting a few facts? I don’t have to stand for this.

Alright then. let’s be reasonable. I understand that the Pastor broke an existing rule. Do you think that this rule will be changed?

That’s not up to me….entirely.

Okay Bishop, enough of the dance. Why did the Pastor get kicked out?

He broke the rules, and he wouldn’t recant.

I would love to talk to the person that blew the whistle. What is their name and phone number?

That’s a preposterous request.

I thought you would say that. So, breaking church rules gets you kicked out?

Obviously. We have the integrity of our tradition to defend.

Obviously. Just like when Jesus healed the man on the Sabbath. He broke the rules.

It’s not the same thing.

I thought you would say that. Why does he have to be punished? The Pastor performed a marriage ceremony  for two people who were in love with each other.

But it’s not right…

I understand that it’s not right for you Bishop. Not for you. What would you have done if the church created a barrier to your marriage?

I love my wife! I would have done anything…

Go on.

This is such a difficult topic.

I agree Bishop. I do.

I truly tried to seek out the Lord’s way in all of this. I know that the decision will offend some, and be applauded by others.

I wouldn’t want your job Bishop.

If you had my job, what would you do? Lets turn the tables here a little.

It seems to me Bishop, that Jesus was a sucker for love. Love trumps all. That’s what He says to me.

So what would you do?

I would ask the Pastor if this wedding was an act of love. There is no guilt, shame, or sin in an act of love.

And then?


Frank seems like the kind of guy that can accept an apology.

Authors note: This interview is completely bogus, and a work of fiction. Perhaps it is a bit silly. But you know what…they started it.


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