Top Ten Things I Am Going To Accomplish…when I get a chance.

  •  Call that guy that beat me up in 2nd grade when my big brother wasn’t watching. I’ll have to call him from a pay phone, because I plan to call him a jerk, and hang up. (I’m still afraid of him),
  •  Make a list of books that I want to read someday. I probably won’t actually read them, but I will keep the list out for all to admire.
  • I am going to write to my Congressman and complain about something. That seems to be the adult thing to do.
  • I will find out who my Congressman is.
  •  I will write to Mark Zuckerberg and ask him to make a new Facebook, for people that don’t care so much what others are having for dinner. It will also exclude all pictures of pets. Pictures of my grandchildren will be automatically “Liked” by all Facebook subscribers.
  • Figure out where the pictures go on my phone, after I take them. If I conquer that one, I’m going to figure out how they can fit a camera in there in the first place.
  • I will finally write my own “Chicken Soup” book. “Irish Whiskey For The Severely Married.”.
  •  One more time, I’m going to get a girl to “go parking”. I will give my wife first dibs on this…but I’m not that hopeful. Applications will be accepted.
  • I am going to replace the Monkees record that I broke, using it as a Frisbee  This one’s not for me, but my sister has been whining about it since 1969. High time, I guess.
  •  I am going to apply for the job that my teachers said was my destiny. I wonder who hires ditch-diggers?
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